Why Sending That Email is Costing You Influence

Most people focus on what they’re saying at work, but fewer people think about how  they’re delivering it. The format you choose—video, phone, email, or text—sends a signal before you say a single word, and that signal affects whether you’re perceived as leadership material or not.

I struggle with this myself, as I prefer email communication so I can keep a record. But sending that email instead of picking up the phone could be costing you influence.

Here’s how to choose the right communication style for the right situation.

The Communication Hierarchy

There’s a hierarchy to communication, from most “rich” to least:

• In person or video
• Phone call
• Email
• Text or chat

The more rich the communication, the more context it carries:

• Tone
• Facial expression
• Timing
• Energy

The less rich it is, the more people have to interpret. Interpretation is where things can go wrong.

A Real World Example

I led a digital marketing onboarding meeting for a new general manager. One that we had never met.

I made sure I was on camera.

Not because I always am, but because this situation called for it. This was the first interaction. We were establishing a working relationship, so I wanted him to see who he was working with. I wanted him to see my face, my surroundings, hear my voice, see my energy.

This is where people get it wrong. They turn communication into a rule:

• “Always be on camera.”
• “Always follow up with a call.”
• “Never send email.”

That’s not strategy. That’s strict rules for no reason.

I don’t require my team to be on camera all the time, and I’m not always on camera myself. It’s exhausting and Zoom fatigue is real. Once the relationship is established, the communication method changes. Efficiency starts to matter more than presence. In my example, in future meetings he won’t need or want to see me taking notes, organizing the related projects for the team, and coaching my team via IM while they lead the call. 

The Real Skill: Choosing Your Communication Style Intentionally

Strong communicators don’t default to one format. They choose based on these questions:

• What is the goal of this interaction?
• Is this about relationship or efficiency?
• Is there room for misinterpretation?
• Does tone matter here?
• Is this a one-time interaction or ongoing work?

When to Use Each

Video or In-Person

Use this when:

• You’re establishing a relationship
• Stakes are high
• Nuance matters

This is where trust and credibility are built fastest.

Phone

Use this when:

• Something needs to be clarified quickly
• Tone matters, but visuals don’t
• You want to avoid a long email chain

Pro tip: This is often underused.

Email

Use this when:

• Information needs to be documented
• Details matter
• You need clarity over time
• It’s not emotionally charged

Good email is structured, not conversational.

Text or Chat

Use this when:

• Speed matters
• The message is simple
• No nuance or formality is required
• No long term record is needed

If it could be misunderstood, it doesn’t belong here.

This Is Leadership Linguistics

Most people choose communication based on what’s easiest, or what feels comfortable to them. Strong communicators choose based on what’s appropriate for their goals.

That’s the difference.

The format you choose is part of your overall message. Using the right level of communication at the right time is how relationships are built.

If you’re trying to communicate more effectively at work, this is exactly what I focus on during my one-on-one coaching. I’m ready to get started when you are!